walking next to me
05. 05. 2016

This Sunday is Mother’s Day and it’s my very first Mother’s Day.  I’m sure Abel has something really sweet planned.  Maybe he will sleep through the night.  That would be incredibly thoughtful of him, but I won’t hold my breath.  :)

While I am incredibly excited about being in the mama club and getting to be celebrated, today I can’t help but think back on previous Mother’s Days.  Until now, I used to view it as a day a lot like Valentine’s Day.  Just basically a made up holiday that you have to buy yet another gift for and Hallmark wins yet again.  But now I see it as so much more.  Mothers should be celebrated!  (yes, yes, please celebrate me, I’m incredible and deserve it.  That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.)  When done as it was designed, motherhood is the most selfless and demanding job out there.  There are days when it seems like I could be feeding Abel all. day. long.  It’s unreal.  And exhausting.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally.  The thing that scares me is I know will only get crazier as he continues to grow.  This is the slow and quiet time.  And there is only one of him.  The weariness that moms feel is by itself enough to celebrate on Sunday.


But now that I am a mother, I’ve also realized something else.  That’s not why we all take a day to celebrate the women in our lives.  It’s really to celebrate the love that is shared between a mom and her babies.  The love that I feel when I look at this boy is unlike anything I have ever encountered.  It’s pure and unrelenting.  He was sick a few weeks ago and was coughing in my face all day.  You guys sometimes my mouth was open.  I literally cannot think of another person on this planet that I would let do that to me.  Not even Ben.  And I truly didn’t care one bit.  Every time I look at him, my heart swells with pride and happiness.  It makes me want to work every day so that he, and any future siblings he has, will be my greatest accomplishment in life.  The best part is, I know that he loves me back.  He will be three months old on Monday and he loves me.  The kid still has to practice holding his head up at times, but he is already living out what he was created to do.  I feel special just knowing that no one in this whole wide world gets to have the relationship with him that I do.  Not his dad (though it is equally special, just not the same), not his future wife, no one.  I know he loves me when I am the only one who can make him stop crying and he snuggles into my chest like he’s been waiting all day to do so.  Or when he has just woken up from a nap and he smiles as soon as he sees my face.  Being a mom is the coolest thing I’ve ever done.  And that’s what we celebrate.  The love and the relationship between a mama and her sweet babes.


I also think back to last years’ Mother’s Day and getting a text from my friend Katy wishing me a happy Mother’s Day.  Not many know this, but the Christmas before, Ben and I lost a beautiful baby just eight weeks into the pregnancy.  She wanted to let me know that I was still a mother and I still deserved to be recognized as such on that day.  I was so grateful for that because I had been thinking all day about how pregnant I would have been at that point and how excited I would have been.  Just knowing that someone remembered me on that day was so beautiful.  I think of my sweet baby often and wonder what he or she would have been like.  Sometimes I think that that baby got  a pretty okay deal because they get to be hanging out with Jesus all the time, which is so much better than anything I could have ever given them.  I can’t wait to meet him or her some day.  It will be a great day indeed.  So for all of the mamas of angel babies, I love you and your babies love you and Happy Mother’s Day.  All the love that you poured into your little baby for the short time that you could deserves to be celebrated too.


So Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, especially to all three of my moms, and thank you for all that you do!

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